5 Ways to Please a Vampire ...

Of course, this is not one of those serious blogs. This blog is meant to laugh, because we all know that pleasing a vampire is merely impossible for a human to do, without giving our life. So, let me give you my 5 ways to please a vampire …

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5. Offer Them Your Blood

Hey, what is one of the things vampires like most? That’s right, blood. Well, unless you’re a vampire from Twilight, then they just want a wild animal. Offering the vampire some fresh blood is a great idea.

4. Dress in Black

Vampires like dressing in black themselves, right? Well, some of them do. So, dressing in black might just please them. They may not like bright colors.

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3. Tell Them You Want to Be One of Them

I’m not a vampire, so I am not sure if they like it when humans want to be one of them or not. However, it sounds like something some vampires would like.

2. Get Them a Fast Car

Oh yeah, vampires definitely like fast cars. Didn’t you learn that one from Twilight?

1. Tell Them How Useful They Are

Sometimes, people, including vampires like to know how useful they are. Therefore, you should tell your vampire just how useful he or she is.

Of course, telling your vampire that you love him or her will also please them. They’re a lot like humans, except they are cold, they are stone and their heart is not beating. Yeah, that is about it. So, can you think of any other thing that will please a vampire?

Top Photo Credit: celestial elf

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I'm sorry, but this doesn't seem competent. We- I mean they- don't do bright(er) colors but I don't think dressing up in all black is a way to please us- them.. I definitely meant them. Anywho, just to clear the air. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE! I do not sparkle. You do not sparkle. Why should vampires sparkle? We like the indoors... Why would we like fast cars?

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