I think vampires are pretty cool, but I’m not out looking for them. I’m not sleeping in my bed thinking about them. For all of you girls that long for a vampire, I am going to give you 5 tips for the desperate vampire seeking girl …
5. Move on with It Already
I know, it’s the cold hard truth, literally, but it is time to move on with it. That vampire you are trying to find really does not exist. It is only in your imagination and you are wasting precious time.
4. Beware of the Fakes
There are fake people out there. They are messed up in the head, seriously. They claim to be vampires, but they are merely human beings with mental problems posing as a vampire. Stay clear of them and do not let your guard down.
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3. He Will Be Old
You know, if you were to find a vampire, he will be old. He may not appear to be old, but he will be an old man. Over a thousand years old. Could you imagine being with that? So, it may be best to stick to the guy next door.
2. Vampires Aren’t Vegetarians
Girl, do you really believe vampires are vegetarians? No, they are full fledged blood drinkers. They don’t want just any blood, they will want human blood. So, do you think it’s a good idea to continue that search for a vampire?
1. Watch out for Buffy
If you want a vampire, try following Buffy around. However, you need to watch out for her, because she’s big on slaying vampires. She may slay a vampire right in front of you.
Those are 5 tips for the desperate vampire seeking girl. Now, if you’re just trying to find the latest Twilight book in the store, give it some time and they will restock their shelves. So, do you believe in vampires?
Top Photo Credit: angiemckaig
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