5 Confessions of a Vampire ...

5. I Eat Too Many Animals

Yes, I could eat five large animals and still want more! I have an appetite like no other and I love it. I love hanging out in the dark waiting to grab the next innocent animal that is passing by. Hey, at least it isn’t humans! I could always go to the grocery store and get meats there, but I want something that still has blood pumping through its veins. I want something that still has a heart beating. Yummy!

4. Blood Drives Me Wild

Oh yeah, whenever something with blood is around, even if I am a vegetarian (I hate being a vegetarian, by the way), it drives me wild. I just want to jump out and drink all of the blood and be done with it, but I know if I do that, I would never hear the end of it and would be cast out and labeled as dangerous. I could be put to sleep …

3. You Stink

Man, I smell you from five miles away and I must say that I am tired of smelling it! Sure, everyone else in your town think you smell good, but I think you stink! This definitely sounds like something that would come from Edward to Jacob.

2. I Watch You in Your Sleep

In Edward could so easily go to Bella’s house and watch her sleep, how many other people did he do that to? Does he watch us sleep every night? What if …

1. Man, I’m Old

Yes, most of the vampires are old. Look at Edward, he was an old man! But hey, he still looked good, didn’t he? You would of never guessed how old he really was just by looking at him.

Those are 5 confessions of a vampire. This is not a “serious” blog, so to speak, it is meant to be a funny blog. So, what do you think a vampire would confess? Be as funny as you like …

Top Photo Credit: CORDAN